I’m 35, have a stable income, a young daughter, and a small side hustle that brings in a little extra but not enough to make a big difference. My finances are in decent shape—I save, invest, and live within my means. But lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about balance.
On one side, I want to be responsible—build a solid retirement fund, save for my daughter’s future, and make sure we’re financially secure. On the other side, I don’t want to be so focused on saving that I miss out on life while she’s young.
I see people around me spending freely—traveling, upgrading cars, going out—and I wonder if I’m being too cautious. At the same time, I know plenty of people who regret not saving earlier.
My side hustle brings in some extra money, but not enough to change things drastically. I’ve thought about putting more effort into it, but I also don’t want to overwork myself.
For those who’ve been in a similar situation, how do you find the right balance? What financial rules or mindset shifts helped you feel like you were making the right decisions?
No one can tell you the exact answer—it’s different for everyone. I set aside a percentage of my income for savings and make sure I budget a set amount for things like vacations with family. That way, I know I’m saving responsibly but also enjoying life along the way.
A good starting point is saving at least 15% of your income for retirement. That’s what I do, and from there, I don’t stress too much about spending what’s left. Having a strong retirement plan is important, especially with a child—you don’t want them to be in a position where they have to support you later.
Also, don’t compare yourself to others too much. People spend money differently, and just because they look like they’re living large doesn’t mean they’re making smart financial choices.
You might find it helpful to create a long-term financial plan. Think about major expenses—college, a first home for your daughter, mortgage, retirement spending, etc. Then, work backward from there to set your savings goals now. Once you have a plan, you’ll have a better idea of how much you can afford to spend today while still staying on track.
Budgeting helps. If you don’t already follow one, the 50/30/20 rule is a good starting point—50% for needs (housing, bills, groceries, etc.), 30% for wants, and 20% for savings/investments. You can tweak it based on your goals, but it’s a good way to balance saving and spending.
You probably know people who regret not saving earlier, but how many people on their deathbeds wish they had worked more? Probably not many.
You need money to meet your goals, but you also need to enjoy life because you only get one. Whether you value experiences, financial security for your family, or certain material things—that’s up to you to decide.
Comparison can be misleading. You might think everyone around you is managing their money well while living it up, but in reality, a lot of people are living paycheck to paycheck or racking up debt.
I suggest setting a budget specifically for fun—vacations, outings, hobbies—just like you would for savings. Quality of life matters, and you don’t want to miss out on making great memories with your family.
For me, I put 25% of my savings into a separate account for vacations and fun experiences. That way, I know I’m prioritizing both financial security and enjoying life. It’s all about balance.
Enjoying life doesn’t have to mean spending a lot of money.
Once your needs are covered, spending more doesn’t always mean more happiness. A lot of people who spend big are actually just trying to fill a void. New cars, expensive vacations—it might seem fun, but that feeling fades fast if it’s not backed by financial stability.
Experiences tend to bring more long-term happiness than material things. You don’t have to go overboard, but making time for meaningful experiences is important too.