Stressed about money… need some advice

Personal Finance Canada Forum
1

I’ve been feeling really low lately (had some dark thoughts, though I haven’t acted on them) because of everything piling up. Here’s a breakdown of my income, savings, expenses, and responsibilities.

Background: I’m an immigrant here for about 10 years now, came to study and got my PR after finishing a 5-year degree. All my family is still back home, and living alone here has been hard.

Age: 27

Income: $130k

Savings/Investments: $180k

RRSP: $20k (I know this isn’t totally accessible because of taxes)

FHSA: $16k

Debt: $1.5k on a credit card

Monthly Rent + Utilities: $1200

Other Monthly Expenses (eating out, groceries, occasional shopping, a yearly vacation, some personal money, phone bill): $2000 — I know this is high, but it’s one of the few things keeping me going.

After living on my own and working hard for so long, I feel burnt out. I’ve been saving for several things: a house, retirement, supporting my parents (want to sponsor them eventually), and building a future for myself and a partner. But it’s overwhelming — it feels like saving for one goal means putting the others at risk. I’m afraid I don’t make enough to handle all these goals and might end up struggling again, like when I had $6 left in my account at age 22.

I know $2k a month in extra spending is a lot, but it’s the only thing that helps me stay motivated and a bit sane. I don’t come from wealth, so what I have now is meant to secure a future for myself, my family, and a potential partner. Given how expensive things are, I’m terrified I won’t be able to make it all work. Some days, I’m too drained even to get out of bed, and it all feels too much. My mom’s cancer and my dad’s health issues add even more stress, but I won’t go into details on that here.

Any advice or suggestions would really help. Thank you for reading.

2

Money is tough for a lot of people.

You actually have savings. So many people don’t even have that and are struggling to pay for food or basic medications. There are people who are so sick they can’t work and live in deep poverty.

Try to get some perspective here. You’re young and you have savings.

Get out there and experience life.

3

@Dana
Totally agree. You’re already doing way better than most people. If you shift your thinking, especially about home ownership, you can actually achieve everything you’re aiming for.

4

What exactly is causing you stress financially? Based on what you shared, your take-home should be about $7.5k per month, and your expenses are around $3.2k, so you’re saving close to $4k each month, right? If I’m not missing anything, then you should be in a pretty solid place, with no debt and a healthy financial situation. That $4k could go towards both a home and retirement fund, and you’d still be building both.

I’m an immigrant too, so I know it’s tough living alone in a new country. I keep myself motivated by thinking of this phase as my “story” that I’ll one day share with my kids. Good luck and hang in there!

5

Try finding ways to get out of your head. Things could always be worse, remember that.

6

Not to add more expenses, but therapy might be a good investment for you right now. You likely have benefits through work to help cover the cost. It could give you the mental support to help you reach your goals. Another option could be a life coach. It sounds cheesy, but you have a lot going for you and just need to build a support network if you don’t already have one.

7

@Maci
Agree with this. Therapy could really help, and if you have work benefits, it might be covered.

Your financial situation looks good, so try doing things for yourself too. What makes you happy? If you miss your family, maybe visit them more often, or invite them to visit you. I’m in a similar situation and call my family every morning on my way to work (time zones make this the best time). I also visit twice a year, even if it’s just for a short stay. It really helps.

8

Maybe try to let go of the idea of owning a home. If you do that, you might find you can achieve everything else you’re aiming for.

Owning a home isn’t a necessity, and it usually takes two people with two incomes to make it happen anyway.

9

Out of curiosity, what do you do for work?

10

You’re doing better than most people your age, honestly. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself.

You’re young, so don’t worry too much about every detail. You’re earning well, you have savings — go live your life. It goes by fast, so don’t let it slip by while you’re stressing.

Take care, mate.